1 – Allow thoughts to arise.
2 – Give up the desire to control.
3 – Observe them without judgement.
4 – Breathe and connect with your body.
When we experience hurt or pain, we create a memory. This memory contains the unresolved emotional trauma we had during the experience. What is not dealt with immediately as it happens, gets stored in our memory as unresolved emotional content. This content could be hurt, trauma, anger, fear or pleasure.
That which is left incomplete is always attempting to complete itself. This is our internal life. A process of trying to complete what was left incomplete.
So when painful thoughts are arising in our mind, they are actually trying to leave. When we react to them by calling them good or bad or painful, we undergo an additional painful experience. We fracture the fractured experience even more. We make what was already incomplete, more incomplete. We prevent release.
The key to releasing the past is to not react to it when it arises. But we can’t do this because we have a very strong belief that we can do something about it. We believe we can control our past.
The day we realize that we have no control over what happened, is the day we surrender control. When we surrender we can let the thoughts come and this time not judge them as positive or negative. We see them in the same light.
This is the way to release addictive patterns which rely on incomplete experiences of pleasure. This is the way to release chronic pain which relies on incomplete experience of suffering: To let it come and get out of its way.