It’s about time…

It’s about time I gave you an update on the progression of this life.

Day by day there are new changes. Nothing is as it was the day before. One lesson sure, is that none of us can have any expectation on what our life is tomorrow. I can tell you; I actually love being on the edge. And the truth of it, when I close my eyes at night, I ask, “Is this the night?” And smile. And feel glad that it might be. This edge is so close to the other side, that while you think it is death coming, it is actually life giving. It’s the place that we sit to quiet ourselves so that all we can know is the presence. And it’s in that presence that love is beyond anything we can ever guess, or know, or anticipate. And we all think we know something about it. Yet every moment there is more and more, it shows itself to us. So, here I am in this process where everything I do that has the potential to sustain life requires that I commit myself to life. Yet again, and the truth of it, and the heart of it, I just want to go. There is no giving up, or no loss. It is just the way things are. In my heart of hearts, my wish is to live in the Will. And it’s that Will, that will take each one of us sooner or later. Death is wonderful. Life that’s lived near death is wonderful.

There are two major things to know. One is that we are all loved. You are loved. That is constant and always. And two, death is not to be feared, death is to be embraced or welcomed no matter what our age. I say this with joy and love and gratitude. One question I get, is do I have pain? The answer is, „Yes, there is pain“. And it’s a strange thing because the pain itself is God’s attention to this wayward soul. It’s a beckoning, a calling Home.

Now, I’m not looking into the cause of whatever made this cancer in my body happen. Yet at the same time the wanton disregard for human health by our corporate conglomerates are making toys and gadgets and addictive things that disorganize our energetic bodies. It’s all done with profit in mind. It’s total irresponsibility. And it’s up to us to really come to understand how the mechanisms of that really work. Because the people making those things, however shiny they look, however wanton their marketing is, is designed to sell a product and make profit, not designed to give us clear protection for the sanctity for our health and well-being. Even those of us that live the cleanest of lifestyles are subject. If it was possible for all of us to take our cell phones and throw them in the trash, we would all be better for it. The convenience comes at a high price. And it’s not just the cell phones. We have to take and evaluate the places we live and do things that help us be in the order of life-sustaining practices. All the way down to the basics of, is the water we are drinking supportive to be in the integrity of its God-given design. Because all the electromagnetics are disturbing that order.

So I am here, on this Sunday morning, with my daughter who is writing this down for me, with the most glorious wonderful team, supported by Sasha, Sean and Sandra and my family and Lotte from afar and all of your love. And I’m the lucky recipient of all of your love. And you are the lucky recipient of each other’s and mine. Our lives are short, let’s make good use of them. Whether I die in a number of days or live another 8-10 years, it’s totally up to Lord’s will. And I smile and rejoice at every prospect. So you can wish as you may, and I want you to know that I have no wish, except to go Home. It’s my only wish. And to go Home under the terms of the Lord’s will. That prospect makes me so happy.

So, progress? There is nothing to report progress on. To live longer? Yes or no. To live shorter? Yes or no. I will say this, when you get a terminal illness, they love to give you drugs, and they are useful. My experience with Oxycodone was horrific. I don’t recommend it. I’m still recovering from taking several doses in the beginning. Totally confused my awareness of up and down. Such a simple thing. Like, what is down? Down in our bodies in our energetic system, in our involutionary system is necessary for the most basic things. In this place, there is no room for vanity. We are just raw human beings. Everybody pees; everybody poops. And the right amount of drugs buffers the pain so we can concentrate. Too much drugs gets you stoned so you can’t. That’s in this place. So right now, on this day, I’ve been in recovery from drug induced constipation. As I’m coming out, I’m learning about down. Down is good. Down is the direction that poop comes out. No vanity, just the facts. And I’ve had to relearn. It’s that simple sensation of gas passing through this body.

Now on top of that, there is the heart of it. There is the glorious Lord, guiding every step of the way. I hope what I’m writing here is making some sense to you. And know that we have been on this earth together. We have touched each other’s hearts and souls. And if in doing any of that, I have transgressed or hurt any of you, I am so deeply sorry. And at the same time, I’m so deeply grateful to know you as we have. It’s a good life.

Thank you and deep blessings to everyone.

I love you.


Ray Castellino


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