Step one – Remind yourself you are human.
Step two – Don’t compare yourself to anyone.
Step three – Ask yourself what you learned.
Step four – Try again and again.
The fear of making a mistake is tied to shame. If you were encouraged to make mistakes and try and try again, rather than shamed when you drew out the lines, as an adult, you might see failures as a necessary aspect of long term success. However, if you grew up in an emotionally neglectful, dysfunctional, cold, rigid household, that was unpredictable you might live in fear of making even the simplest mistakes.
When shame is at the core of our childhood wounds, we live with this constant critical inner voice that taunts us day in and day out. We fall asleep afraid, wake up with anxiety and hold conversations with others all the while being bombarded by this loud voice in the back of our heads criticizing us for forgetting someone’s name, dropping a pencil, or knocking over a glass of water.
Shame can be tied to many things, like feeling unworthy due to abandonment and rejection in childhood. Unless we override our inner child’s instinct to live in fear of making mistake, as our ego does what it can to avoid further abandonment from others, we remain stuck, living in fear, reactive, and unfulfilled.
Today, do what you can to love yourself and offer that darling little person inside of you, tons of compassion.
Lisa A. Romano